


praesidium sine merito

by aldiara



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Drabble Day 2018, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Other, Triple Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 02:37:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13514943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aldiara/pseuds/aldiara
Summary: Patronus: an origin story in three glimpses.





	praesidium sine merito

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Drabble Day 2018](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/drabbleday/).

Of the two of them, Lily was the first to achieve a Patronus, which was no great surprise: her well of happy memories ran so deep. They were fourteen. It had been getting harder to spend time together, but Lily was determined, after endless hours of studying, that they should master this. “We might need it,” she said briskly, waving the Daily Prophet, which contained things he already knew. “Come on, Sev. Let’s try again.”

When she did it at last, she laughed delightedly, but for once, he barely heard her, too entranced by the silver doe prancing around him.

*

Severus, whose only happy memory was her, could not do it until true need arose. When the Dementors came to Spinner’s End for his father, his mother screamed it was a mistake; he was a Muggle; she had not meant to summon them; she’d just been angry. They did not care. Muggles had souls, and mouths to kiss.

Pressed against the shabby wall, Severus tried not to hear the screaming, to make himself invisible. When one of them reached out for him, he whispered the spell, barely audible. She burst from his wand in a silver blaze, chasing despair away.

*

After the worst, it took him weeks to realise he could no longer cast a Patronus. He hardly cared. He didn’t deserve protection. He deserved nothing. Dumbledore frowned at hearing it, and urged him to keep trying. Perhaps he even sent him to Azkaban to question Death Eaters on purpose.

Dementors waited on the wind-lashed rocks when he Apparated, scabby hands already reaching out. He raised his wand without thinking. She came slowly, a wisp of silver, but she came. He closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of her surrounding him even now, and bit his lip until it bled.


End file.
